Sunday 21 July 2013

Boycott to be recognised as "Righteous among the Nations"

The members of Yad Veshem have unanimously voted to bestow the title of "Righteous among the Nations" on cricket pundit Geoffrey Boycott. The award comes following the revelation that during the early years of the Second World War, Boycott saved of hundreds of Jewish women and children from Nazi persecution.

In a statement, Boycott said, "I saved 'undreds of Jewish refugees from t'ghettos of Amsterdam, smashing them over t' North Sea to Lincoln. And I got a six for every one that made it alive". He went on, "Aye, 'tis a great honour f' this feat to finally be recognised. I always said Schindler was an amateur".

Boycott also revealed that he had already been secretly thanked for his brave work, but it had been on the understanding that it would remain an official state secret until this year. "Churchill 'isself awarded me the Boycott Cross, which incidentally was named after me in honour of my heroic fielding during the Siege of Sevastopol. I took a great catch which saved Lord Raglan's life. Admiral Vladimir edged a cannonball down the off side and it would 'ave twatted Raglan in t' head, but that I got an 'and to it. And that was before wicket-keepers wore gloves".

Geoffrey Boycott is 72.